In Search of Lovable Midwestern Dads

Tim Walz as symbol for a searching generation

There’s been chatter on the internet recently about why Tim Walz, vice president candidate, seems to be resonating so much with many of us in the Millennial / Gen X generations: he feels like the dad many of us had before Fox News brainwashed our parents and stole a generation’s ability to have positive, normal relationships with parents who had normal ways of thinking.

This is not exactly true for me — I pine for a Tim Walz regardless of Fox News, who exudes warmth and compassion and actual family values, not just politicized “family values.” I gravitate towards older men who are kind, compassionate, warm, and empathetic. Walz must have struck a very particular nerve (a good one!) with people: I read that the applause when Harris introduced him at a recent rally lasted for a full minute. He embodies a real zeitgeist of what many people are longing for —particularly from men— in this moment.

In his “interview for the job” he made clear he wanted to be a supporting role to Kamala Harris and had no intentions of upstaging her or becoming president or otherwise being there for his own personal gain. While governing, he enacted a massive amount of popular social programs with only the slenderest of political majorities (wasting no time!). And the picture of him holding the pig! What’s not to love?

This image retrieved from https://www.commondreams.org, but also, all over the internet

I don’t want to focus too much on Walz himself though, and I don’t think he’d want us to either. What I’m fascinated by is what he means to those of us that seem to have resonated so hard with the idea of him.

Whether it was Fox News or plain old white evangelical indoctrination, many of us lost relationships with our parent(s)¹ because of an outside agenda that our parents decided they were going to be more loyal to than us.

It has taken seeing examples of families that don’t do that to realize that it was, indeed, a choice that was made for a parent to prioritize their own agenda (political, religious, etc) over a relationship with their children. I don’t agree with my in-laws politically, but I have never once doubted the strength of their family bonds, or the warmth that they welcomed me into their lives. I can vote blue as they come and believe possibly scandalizing religious things, and I’m still their daughter. Not even distinguished from daughter-in-law. I haven’t even been that nice all of the time (the Trump years and postpartum era were ROUGH, yo!) but they’re still kind and supportive to me.

Which is also why they don’t understand why it is so normal for me to have severe familial rifts based on religious and political differences. I knew that once I no longer believed the “acceptable theology” of evangelicalism, my relationship with my fundamentalist parent would forever change. It’s not even a question when you grow up fully indoctrinated in the cult. You know that if you ever leave the system, the people you leave behind will see you as heretical, wrong, or even dangerous.

But to non-indoctrinated people? That’s just kind of crazy. Nonsensical. Absurd. To ruin a relationship over… religious beliefs?? Just plan weird.

And what I’m starting to let myself realize is… maybe they’re right. It seemed normal to me to have a relationship be nearly severed because of a difference in beliefs². But maybe that’s actually the absurd thing, and maybe it is not unreasonable to expect to be respected for your beliefs, your identity, or actually individuating to become your own adult person.

What a concept!

1. MOMMMM I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU OK?? 😅

2. I’m distinguishing here between beliefs that you are willing or able to set aside for the sake of relationship. I’m not referring to, say, a gay or trans person not having a right to remove themselves from a relationship with people who actively speak against who they are, dismiss their identity, or continually try and “convert” (??) a person to be straight / cis / what have you.