I love all these ideas, especially the one about evangelicalism and shame, both related to the body and also just the way evangelicalism utilizes guilt and shame as a control tactic. Unlearning shame is a major area I'm working on. I'd also be interested in more on the nervous system, window of tolerance, and working with your own sensory needs, contrasted with how evangelicalism says "deny yourself" and ignore your own needs to put others first.
Yes yes yes, these are all great expansions!! Will definitely highlight all those areas! Thanks so much for weighing in (and for liking those other posts, too!)
I hadn’t previously seen your interview with DL Mayfield and really enjoyed reading it. When in Chicago, I had some friends involved with the Catholic Worker House there. I’ve added Mayfield’s book to my “to read” list!
Oh that's great! Thanks for catching up on the archives!! Heya fellow preacher's wife. It is a weird journey - I don't know how you navigate it or what your spouse's preaching ministry looks like (my husband is very open theologically, but the church we're in is pretty mixed theologically, plus it's a rural area where there's little exposure aside from Christianity so that's the de facto religion and cultural approach.). Interested in learning your story!
My husband's theology largely aligns with my own, but he takes a small changes approach with our pretty conservative congregation, while I'm ready to blow things up! As for how I navigate it ... I'll let you know if I figure that out. I've become convinced of "silence is violence" in many situations, so I'm trying to find my voice. Unfortunately, the misogyny here makes that feel utterly pointless.
Here's to figuring things out, finding community, and refusing to be silenced. Happy 2023!
Oh yes I know how that feels! Such a strange tension, working with churches (or any large organization that isn't open to change...). I hope you find a way to express your voice that feels meaningful, and are heard!
Thanks for a great 2022 with many diverse, interesting, and helpful articles. You have turned me into a loyal reader and commenter.
A couple ideas for 2023:
(1) How to find your way spiritually after deconstruction, assuming you are a spiritual person who needs some outlet for spirituality—resources and creative ideas for creating your own new spirituality, which could be finding a safer version of your existing faith or satisfying your spirituality on a more personal level which may draw from but not directly involve existing religious traditions or institutions.
(2) Describe what the pattern of spiritual abuse looks like generally, regardless of the religion. I’ve experienced it in a non-Christian faith as well as in Christianity. In Eastern religion a particularly damaging approach uses emotional abuse to destroy the ego and promote “enlightenment.” It’s often really just a teacher lording their ego over followers who are supposed to submit to trauma as a means of humbling them. Crazy harmful stuff, and because they are the teacher and you’re the student who assumes the teacher knows best, it takes a while to figure out what’s going on. This seems to me like a universal pattern (teachers lording over and abusing students) that goes beyond Christianity. I know other religions may not be your wheelhouse, but as a therapist, you undoubtedly see various general abuse patterns and can help people identify spiritual abuse early on and save themselves a lot of trauma.
I know you’ve touched on these topics before, so please disregard if you feel you have already covered them.
Cheers! Here’s to a new year of articles that help us find our way out of harmful traditions and discover healthy resources for our psychological and spiritual growth! Thanks for the gift of your writing, Christine!
Chuck, those are great ideas! (Also, you were up early... I'm guessing you're not on PST right now!) In regards to idea 2, I feel the same -- I dabbled in some different traditions on my way out of Christianity and was very leery of any kind of tradition or spiritual approach that had weird power dynamics or seemed to be insisting that its way was the only right way. Big red flags for me, especially emerging out of fundamentalism! That's really sad / awful about these power dynamics. Definitely a universal thing and not contained to just Christianity. Thanks so much for bringing up those ideas!
Thanks for being part of my 2022, and looking forward to continued journeys in 2023!
I love all these ideas, especially the one about evangelicalism and shame, both related to the body and also just the way evangelicalism utilizes guilt and shame as a control tactic. Unlearning shame is a major area I'm working on. I'd also be interested in more on the nervous system, window of tolerance, and working with your own sensory needs, contrasted with how evangelicalism says "deny yourself" and ignore your own needs to put others first.
Yes yes yes, these are all great expansions!! Will definitely highlight all those areas! Thanks so much for weighing in (and for liking those other posts, too!)
Thanks for creating this newsletter!
I hadn’t previously seen your interview with DL Mayfield and really enjoyed reading it. When in Chicago, I had some friends involved with the Catholic Worker House there. I’ve added Mayfield’s book to my “to read” list!
I discovered this substack a couple months ago, but have already read it all. I'm so excited for your ideas for next year!
And hello, fellow preacher's wife! This is a weird walk we're on. It means a lot to know there are others out there.
Oh that's great! Thanks for catching up on the archives!! Heya fellow preacher's wife. It is a weird journey - I don't know how you navigate it or what your spouse's preaching ministry looks like (my husband is very open theologically, but the church we're in is pretty mixed theologically, plus it's a rural area where there's little exposure aside from Christianity so that's the de facto religion and cultural approach.). Interested in learning your story!
My husband's theology largely aligns with my own, but he takes a small changes approach with our pretty conservative congregation, while I'm ready to blow things up! As for how I navigate it ... I'll let you know if I figure that out. I've become convinced of "silence is violence" in many situations, so I'm trying to find my voice. Unfortunately, the misogyny here makes that feel utterly pointless.
Here's to figuring things out, finding community, and refusing to be silenced. Happy 2023!
Oh yes I know how that feels! Such a strange tension, working with churches (or any large organization that isn't open to change...). I hope you find a way to express your voice that feels meaningful, and are heard!
Hi Christine,
Thanks for a great 2022 with many diverse, interesting, and helpful articles. You have turned me into a loyal reader and commenter.
A couple ideas for 2023:
(1) How to find your way spiritually after deconstruction, assuming you are a spiritual person who needs some outlet for spirituality—resources and creative ideas for creating your own new spirituality, which could be finding a safer version of your existing faith or satisfying your spirituality on a more personal level which may draw from but not directly involve existing religious traditions or institutions.
(2) Describe what the pattern of spiritual abuse looks like generally, regardless of the religion. I’ve experienced it in a non-Christian faith as well as in Christianity. In Eastern religion a particularly damaging approach uses emotional abuse to destroy the ego and promote “enlightenment.” It’s often really just a teacher lording their ego over followers who are supposed to submit to trauma as a means of humbling them. Crazy harmful stuff, and because they are the teacher and you’re the student who assumes the teacher knows best, it takes a while to figure out what’s going on. This seems to me like a universal pattern (teachers lording over and abusing students) that goes beyond Christianity. I know other religions may not be your wheelhouse, but as a therapist, you undoubtedly see various general abuse patterns and can help people identify spiritual abuse early on and save themselves a lot of trauma.
I know you’ve touched on these topics before, so please disregard if you feel you have already covered them.
Cheers! Here’s to a new year of articles that help us find our way out of harmful traditions and discover healthy resources for our psychological and spiritual growth! Thanks for the gift of your writing, Christine!
Chuck, those are great ideas! (Also, you were up early... I'm guessing you're not on PST right now!) In regards to idea 2, I feel the same -- I dabbled in some different traditions on my way out of Christianity and was very leery of any kind of tradition or spiritual approach that had weird power dynamics or seemed to be insisting that its way was the only right way. Big red flags for me, especially emerging out of fundamentalism! That's really sad / awful about these power dynamics. Definitely a universal thing and not contained to just Christianity. Thanks so much for bringing up those ideas!
Thanks for being part of my 2022, and looking forward to continued journeys in 2023!
Seriously love ALL of those ideas!! And I really love your writing. 💛
Thank you, Marla!! 🥰