The first thing that comes to mind is that I wouldn't have moved to Colombia ten years ago. I came to be a missionary, but now I live here just to ... live here. If it weren't for evangelicalism I wouldn't have had the drive to live and work abroad. So, in that respect I'm actually grateful to evangelicalism for the global mindset. If I hadn't gone to missionary training schools and short term mission trips and learned Spanish to work in South America then I wouldn't have ended up building a life here, meeting lifelong friends, meeting my husband, and eventually figuring out what I actually believe about God and missions and what brought me here in the first place. Guess that's a bit more positive than the example you gave, haha.
I love this perspective, and I'm glad it took you where you are! I figure even the hardest things in life shape who we are. Same though - without evangelicalism, I wouldn't have met so-and-so, and gone to grad school where I did, where I met my husband, and now live where I do and have two kids... not that the other path would have been better or worse, but I'm glad for how I've been shaped, even though the road was not always pleasant!
Similar to you I arrived at my current progressive outlook through a progressive evangelical college. I've since moved beyond the evangelical tradition entirely, but (perhaps ironically?) I'm not sure I'd be as progressive as I am without Christianity. Because Christianity can take on many forms--forms as disparate as the religious right (i.e. what I grew up in) and liberation theologies (i.e. what I now embrace)--it vitalizes people and groups on both sides of the sociopolitical spectrum. So the religion of my youth that focused on legislating a certain interpretation of morality, is the same religion that I now understand calls for embodied action against injustice and oppression. Ideally, I would have wished to have grown up with open-minded and action-oriented religion, but I'm not sure I would have gotten there with no religious foundation at all. Not sure if this makes sense to anyone else but me!
I feel that too!! I had no idea other forms of Christianity existed when I was a young evangelical, but now I have a genuine, deep appreciation of other forms of Christianity like liberation theology! Yes... would we have reached this place without having gone through conservative Christianity?? Who knows!
During my junior and senior years, I worked as a student manager with the university food service company. As I neared graduation (at the height of the Jesus People movement), I also had two choices: going to work fulltime for that company or becoming a (raise your own support) intern at a church (near San Francisco) that played a major role in that growing movement. Choosing the latter, I had no idea that I was embarking on a 40+years career as a "professional" Christian. Had I chosen the "secular" career, I'm not certain who, what, or where I would be today. Knowing now the hard personal work required to actually grow up, I shudder to think of the moral mess my life could have become. Also, had I passed on the internship, I would not now have my incredible wife and family. However, my own messiness went with me into the work of the ministry, and evangelicalism at least provided me with the moral guard rails I needed. It also provided me with a lifelong struggle with guilt and shame.
I walked away from evangelicalism in 2010, and the dark, emotion-laden clouds began to dissipate. I'm still discovering that the sun does actually shine and that it's okay to be happy. On the cusp of my 75th birthday (and newly retired), there is still a great deal of living and learning to be done. Just yesterday I came across this quote from Alfred, Lord Tennyson,
How dull it is to pause, to make an end / To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use! / As tho’ to breathe were life! / Just because you are breathing doesn’t mean you are living.
Thank you for sharing!! I think it is really valid to acknowledge how the moral guardrails of religion are really helpful for people who need that kind of structure (though it would be really nice to do without the guilt and shame). I'm glad you're finding that the sun shines and happiness isn't a bad thing. Retirement is a whole new phase of life and I hope you really do find that you're not rusting unburnished! Congrats on your retirement!!
I love this thought experiment! I wouldn't have gone to Bible college. I would've gotten my English degree from a really good state school (or even left the state) or something like that. And I also would've lived out my gothy, witchy, queer self much sooner. The good news is: that latter half is something I can live out now, and I intend to keep living in authenticity for the rest of my life.
What a fascinating fork in the road for you and question about alternate lives. Kudos to you, Christine, for your unselfish choices and work of service, regardless of what made you choose them. What awesome life experiences you had!
I had a few such opportunities--advanced degree choices at two different times (MA English, MFT, MBA--chose the latter), and a few career choices at three different times (Tech Writer or English Prof, Therapist or Biz Management, Tech Writer or Career Counselor). I feel I made the wrong choice every time (motivated by finances). LOL! But I'd have been a different person than I am now, and I like my current life path and feel it's leading someplace more meaningful and altruistic than my earlier life. Maybe it's never too late, and even if it is, there's always the next life!
The first thing that comes to mind is that I wouldn't have moved to Colombia ten years ago. I came to be a missionary, but now I live here just to ... live here. If it weren't for evangelicalism I wouldn't have had the drive to live and work abroad. So, in that respect I'm actually grateful to evangelicalism for the global mindset. If I hadn't gone to missionary training schools and short term mission trips and learned Spanish to work in South America then I wouldn't have ended up building a life here, meeting lifelong friends, meeting my husband, and eventually figuring out what I actually believe about God and missions and what brought me here in the first place. Guess that's a bit more positive than the example you gave, haha.
I love this perspective, and I'm glad it took you where you are! I figure even the hardest things in life shape who we are. Same though - without evangelicalism, I wouldn't have met so-and-so, and gone to grad school where I did, where I met my husband, and now live where I do and have two kids... not that the other path would have been better or worse, but I'm glad for how I've been shaped, even though the road was not always pleasant!
I love this for you. Genuinely. I wish we all had a story like this.
Thank you Lindsey 🥹
Similar to you I arrived at my current progressive outlook through a progressive evangelical college. I've since moved beyond the evangelical tradition entirely, but (perhaps ironically?) I'm not sure I'd be as progressive as I am without Christianity. Because Christianity can take on many forms--forms as disparate as the religious right (i.e. what I grew up in) and liberation theologies (i.e. what I now embrace)--it vitalizes people and groups on both sides of the sociopolitical spectrum. So the religion of my youth that focused on legislating a certain interpretation of morality, is the same religion that I now understand calls for embodied action against injustice and oppression. Ideally, I would have wished to have grown up with open-minded and action-oriented religion, but I'm not sure I would have gotten there with no religious foundation at all. Not sure if this makes sense to anyone else but me!
I feel that too!! I had no idea other forms of Christianity existed when I was a young evangelical, but now I have a genuine, deep appreciation of other forms of Christianity like liberation theology! Yes... would we have reached this place without having gone through conservative Christianity?? Who knows!
Yes, I completely agree with you!
During my junior and senior years, I worked as a student manager with the university food service company. As I neared graduation (at the height of the Jesus People movement), I also had two choices: going to work fulltime for that company or becoming a (raise your own support) intern at a church (near San Francisco) that played a major role in that growing movement. Choosing the latter, I had no idea that I was embarking on a 40+years career as a "professional" Christian. Had I chosen the "secular" career, I'm not certain who, what, or where I would be today. Knowing now the hard personal work required to actually grow up, I shudder to think of the moral mess my life could have become. Also, had I passed on the internship, I would not now have my incredible wife and family. However, my own messiness went with me into the work of the ministry, and evangelicalism at least provided me with the moral guard rails I needed. It also provided me with a lifelong struggle with guilt and shame.
I walked away from evangelicalism in 2010, and the dark, emotion-laden clouds began to dissipate. I'm still discovering that the sun does actually shine and that it's okay to be happy. On the cusp of my 75th birthday (and newly retired), there is still a great deal of living and learning to be done. Just yesterday I came across this quote from Alfred, Lord Tennyson,
How dull it is to pause, to make an end / To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use! / As tho’ to breathe were life! / Just because you are breathing doesn’t mean you are living.
Thank you for sharing!! I think it is really valid to acknowledge how the moral guardrails of religion are really helpful for people who need that kind of structure (though it would be really nice to do without the guilt and shame). I'm glad you're finding that the sun shines and happiness isn't a bad thing. Retirement is a whole new phase of life and I hope you really do find that you're not rusting unburnished! Congrats on your retirement!!
I love this thought experiment! I wouldn't have gone to Bible college. I would've gotten my English degree from a really good state school (or even left the state) or something like that. And I also would've lived out my gothy, witchy, queer self much sooner. The good news is: that latter half is something I can live out now, and I intend to keep living in authenticity for the rest of my life.
Hooray for living fully into your authentic self now! Maybe it tastes all the sweeter with the contrast of knowing how it feels to not live that way!
Thanks, Christine! I love that framing!
Still in the jaws of the Catholics Church. Or an agnostic. Evangelicalism saved me.
I'm glad for you for that!!
Not to say they don't irritate me to death.
What a fascinating fork in the road for you and question about alternate lives. Kudos to you, Christine, for your unselfish choices and work of service, regardless of what made you choose them. What awesome life experiences you had!
I had a few such opportunities--advanced degree choices at two different times (MA English, MFT, MBA--chose the latter), and a few career choices at three different times (Tech Writer or English Prof, Therapist or Biz Management, Tech Writer or Career Counselor). I feel I made the wrong choice every time (motivated by finances). LOL! But I'd have been a different person than I am now, and I like my current life path and feel it's leading someplace more meaningful and altruistic than my earlier life. Maybe it's never too late, and even if it is, there's always the next life!