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Joel Martin's avatar

I've been in EMDR for nearly a year and a half now, and it's been transformative for me. We've focused on one of my negative core beliefs ("I'm not good enough") in a lot of events.

I identify with the possible pitfall you pointed out. I couldn't really believe that "I'm enough" (my positive cognition), in large part due to my religious upbringing's central tenant that I'm wicked at my core and can't choose right even when I want to (along with life experiences that reinforced that - if I could have been good enough, this negative thing wouldn't have happened, etc.). And as you said, it got better over time as I began to trust the process and my practitioner more, and as I felt safer and less hyper-vigilant due to working through some of these traumas.

One hurdle I had to overcome, which still comes up at times for me, is that I over-intellectualize everything. It was/is how I make myself feel safe in the world- by trying to understand things. But that isn't how EMDR works. There were a number of sessions where it was mostly me voicing how I didn't think it could work and getting tripped up by trying to do the exercise perfectly. I think being vulnerable and just admitting those things in the moment to my therapist helped, and actively reminding myself of how I'd seen progress from it previously / already, trying to reassure those parts of me which were resistant and trying to sabotage, as they were just trying to keep me safe the only way they knew how. I still wish I felt more when my therapist asks what sensations I notice in myself, at points during the sessions, because often it is just numbness or that I am not able to really tell. I am hoping that my ability to feel those things continues to grow.

I also realized I need to be gentle with myself in this process. I tried going into it too fast and too hard, initially, and there was a point after one session where I got so overwhelmed that I was ready to abandon EMDR and even therapy altogether (why do this if it is making life worse and amplifying these negative things?). But... I think that happened in large part because I was laying impossibly high expectations on myself and also not just being open to my therapist about my doing that. Once I did, by telling her how I was just done with EMDR and about ready to quit therapy entirely, things got better and I basically regained faith in my therapist and the process, by how she responded and adjusted things. It's been much smoother since.

I'd love to do EMDR with a specific focus on religious trauma. It has come up _a lot_ in my process so far. I'm curious what treatment specifically for religious trauma would look like.

Lastly, thank you for doing this publication - I always look forward to reading your posts when I see the email notifications come up for them. I hope you get a bunch of people signing up for paid subscriptions.

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Chuck Petch's avatar

Christine, thanks to you and your readers for some great thoughts and comments. I have done EMDR off and on in therapy and have found it very helpful and healing. It is especially effective for me when I can’t seem to access my emotions or memories about a topic.

In my case we had to learn to stop about 10 minutes before the end of sessions and do a therapist-guided meditation to a safe and calming place so my emotions could subside and I could compose myself before leaving.

In The Body Keeps the Score (excellent book on trauma), Bessel Van der Kolk speculates EMDR may emulate REM sleep during which our mind reviews and works out problems. But with EMDR our conscious mind can help with the process in a way that it can’t while we sleep.

As an aside, I can really see the deep connection between religious and childhood trauma for those raised in church. For me, painful emotions arising from religion came later in life when I chose to go to church, and perhaps because it was something I did to myself by choice, I seem to have found letting go of religious trauma and harmful beliefs easier than what you and many of your other readers have shared. Not that letting go of religious guilt, shame, anxiety, fear of hell etc. were trivial for me. They did take significant time and processing to let go of. But I am guessing my religious trauma as an adult was less damaging and more easily overcome than that of those who were traumatized as children.

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