Seed, Scattered and Sown

More gardening metaphors

Photo by Julian Paolo Dayag on Unsplash

“Scattered” was a word that came to mind for how I’ve been lately - not so bad as I’m accustomed to (thank you, Wellbutrin), just a feeling of being busy and pursuing a lot at the same time. Writing has not been at the top of my list of things to do, especially because apparently around the holiday season, almost all my clients show up to their therapy appointments! (I usually use those cancellation spots in my workday to write these posts because my brain is fried by the time the kids are down at night).

I wrote a few weeks ago about how I was preparing my gardens for the winter and how that translated to my own life. Tearing out dead plants, tilling compost into the earth, raking and mulching leaves.

If you’ve been part of churches that use certain hymnals, you might recognize today’s title as a hymn title. (Not one with toxic theology, thank goodness!) Another winterizing thing I did was scatter native-ish wildflower seeds on a newly created garden bed in hopes of seeing flowers come up in the spring.

Well… they’re already coming up! 😳 I’m not a master gardener, obviously, but I’m a little concerned that those scattered seeds are trying to grow before it’s spring - really, before it’s even winter! What will happen to them¹? Did I plant them before their time??

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There is so much in this world that I want to take in and learn about. I am so proud of myself for sticking with two books I bought recently: Hold On To Your Kids and Scattered Minds, both by Gabor Mate and the first with Gordon Neufeld as primary author. (I do hope to write a post or two about stuff I’m thinking about based on those readings!). I listened to a podcast series about Napoleon and watched the recent movie, and now I want to learn about other authoritarians and dictators and people who become consumed with “greatness.” I want to learn about ancient prehistory and I want to learn about the fall of civilizations. I want to run a marathon while also doing a deep dive into heart rate training and nerdy runner things. I want my garden to succeed. I wan to publish my book I’ve been sitting on for three (?!!) years. I want to work on my healing through therapy, spiritual practices, and relationships with people in mutual support of our well-being.

So many seeds. When is the right time to scatter them? What needs to be actually sown, not just scattered? And what will end up growing?

I suppose the beautiful thing is that not all seeds need to sprout for the garden to still be amazing — whether that’s conventionally attractive or just beloved by me because it’s my baby that I poured so much sweat and effort into. Likewise, I truly feel like I’m learning to be tender and loving towards myself, smiling indulgently at my random curiosities; hopefully supportive about my dreams and ambitions. And I can love it if the result is “conventionally attractive” or just beloved by me because it reflects who I truly am and want to be.

That’s all I’ve got for today. But, if you’re hungry for more, go check out my guest post on

Kandi Zeller (she/her)

’s Substack: she’s been doing a series of short interviews with people and I was delighted to answer her thoughtful questions about what makes a safe spiritual space!

Freedom as Spiritual Practice: Christine Greenwald Interview (Safe Spiritual Spaces Interview Series)

What “seeds” do you have in your life that you would love to scatter and see grow? What are your hopes for what lies ahead? And if we want to get cheesy with the metaphors, what are the weeds or the long winter that stands in the way of their eventual sprouting?

1. This is an honest question, if anyone has more gardening experience than me 😂😂