"Since intellectualization is one of my favorite coping mechanisms!" Same. My therapist is always saying, "Before you intellectualize this, how are you feeling? What do you feel in your body?" All that said, this was a great piece and very necessary. Thank you!
Love this analysis, Christine. Isn’t America a narcissistic nation because of our entanglement with narcissistic religion from our colonial foundation forward? Our Puritan history positively drips with narcissism--an intractable belief they had to leave Europe and settle in lands that weren’t theirs because they had the only true religion and were led by god to create their own Christian utopia. Isn’t this the root of “American Exceptionalism,” our repugnant belief that we are the best in the world at everything--despite plenty of evidence to the contrary in most areas except commerce, where we have been exceptionally adept at narcissistic self-enrichment at the expense of anybody we could exploit. As a nation our emotional maturity will never rise to an adult level until white religion and white folks generally grow up and face our 400 years of abuse. Getting down to specifics, does the patriarchal narcissistic nature of our culture lead to a form of self-justification behind some men’s belief that they can do whatever they want to women? Is it behind deranged men’s raging gun violence? No other culture in the world does these things to the extent we do, and I wonder if it’s our narcissistic cultural history that underlies all of it. Sorry for that dark picture, but it was so perfectly clear to me as I extrapolated your ideas to our culture as a whole. Thanks for the intellectualization; you are leading us to do some important thinking.
(I think I’m seeing a book idea forming: How American Religion Created a Culture of Narcissism. When do we start our book collaboration? LOL 😂)
Spot on with all the things as usual! This particular form of religion seems best described as a religious / political / cultural philosophy, because the really narcissistic elements that you're talking about here are more about capitalism and politics than anything really vaguely spiritual! Honestly the "religion" part kind of seems like a ruse when you get down to it...
You raise so many good points. That's a painful recognition that patriarchal narcissism is behind men's violence towards women and gun violence. Oof...heavy stuff. Your extrapolation feels very accurate! Lemme know when you have a book outline assembled and need your collaborator ;)
So interesting Christine! Thanks for this. I get really foggy on what a narcissist truly is - because a lot of times it just sounds like “ass hole” ...and wow, the idea that evangelicalism as a whole is narcissistic!! 😬 checks out.
Haha it's very true, and I do get annoyed at the "pop psychology" that reduces the meaning of terms that have actual specific meaning. I don't want to do more of the same and hope spelling it out a little can be helpful!
Very glad you are writing about this! Your paragraphs on the "Dobson generation" hit very close to home for me. And I think maybe it unfortunately spans more than one generation of parents. I have cousins not too much older than me who raised their kids as taught by Dobson.
Also, when I had questions as a kid about the evangelical faith I was being raised in, parents and other adults in our church really could not meet me where I was. They just told me that ours was the best way and that they were sure of it.
I am soooooooo glad you are writing about this! The parents believing you are an extension of themselves is so real.
Yes exactly!!!! Just a narcissistic extension over here right? 🙄
"Since intellectualization is one of my favorite coping mechanisms!" Same. My therapist is always saying, "Before you intellectualize this, how are you feeling? What do you feel in your body?" All that said, this was a great piece and very necessary. Thank you!
Haha intellectualization has gotten me far, what can I say?? 😅 I love that your therapist says that to you!
I love that your therapist does that!
Love this analysis, Christine. Isn’t America a narcissistic nation because of our entanglement with narcissistic religion from our colonial foundation forward? Our Puritan history positively drips with narcissism--an intractable belief they had to leave Europe and settle in lands that weren’t theirs because they had the only true religion and were led by god to create their own Christian utopia. Isn’t this the root of “American Exceptionalism,” our repugnant belief that we are the best in the world at everything--despite plenty of evidence to the contrary in most areas except commerce, where we have been exceptionally adept at narcissistic self-enrichment at the expense of anybody we could exploit. As a nation our emotional maturity will never rise to an adult level until white religion and white folks generally grow up and face our 400 years of abuse. Getting down to specifics, does the patriarchal narcissistic nature of our culture lead to a form of self-justification behind some men’s belief that they can do whatever they want to women? Is it behind deranged men’s raging gun violence? No other culture in the world does these things to the extent we do, and I wonder if it’s our narcissistic cultural history that underlies all of it. Sorry for that dark picture, but it was so perfectly clear to me as I extrapolated your ideas to our culture as a whole. Thanks for the intellectualization; you are leading us to do some important thinking.
(I think I’m seeing a book idea forming: How American Religion Created a Culture of Narcissism. When do we start our book collaboration? LOL 😂)
Spot on with all the things as usual! This particular form of religion seems best described as a religious / political / cultural philosophy, because the really narcissistic elements that you're talking about here are more about capitalism and politics than anything really vaguely spiritual! Honestly the "religion" part kind of seems like a ruse when you get down to it...
You raise so many good points. That's a painful recognition that patriarchal narcissism is behind men's violence towards women and gun violence. Oof...heavy stuff. Your extrapolation feels very accurate! Lemme know when you have a book outline assembled and need your collaborator ;)
So interesting Christine! Thanks for this. I get really foggy on what a narcissist truly is - because a lot of times it just sounds like “ass hole” ...and wow, the idea that evangelicalism as a whole is narcissistic!! 😬 checks out.
Haha it's very true, and I do get annoyed at the "pop psychology" that reduces the meaning of terms that have actual specific meaning. I don't want to do more of the same and hope spelling it out a little can be helpful!
I have been struggling to understand this very concept, and your article is so helpful. Thank you so very much.
I’m so glad to hear that! Thanks for reading!
Wow. I'm super excited to see more of this!
Very glad you are writing about this! Your paragraphs on the "Dobson generation" hit very close to home for me. And I think maybe it unfortunately spans more than one generation of parents. I have cousins not too much older than me who raised their kids as taught by Dobson.
Also, when I had questions as a kid about the evangelical faith I was being raised in, parents and other adults in our church really could not meet me where I was. They just told me that ours was the best way and that they were sure of it.
Thank you! Ah yes I'm sure the Dobson generation spans many years ("Dr. James Dobson" has had QUITE the influence on a lot of people!).
Blind certainty might've worked for them, but sure doesn't work for us! Good for you for asking the questions, even as a kid!