Jesus Christ Superstar and Other Cultural Touchpoints

Raising the next generation, post religious trauma

My spouse and I went to see the musical “Jesus Christ Superstar” in Columbus the other week. Between enjoying the incredible bass of Caiaphas (!!!) and the sweet lilt of Mary Magdalene, I had the thought: you know, I am glad that I have so much context to really understand what’s happening here. But with that thought was the awareness that the context came at the cost of many years of devotion and obsession, and with a byproduct of plenty of pain. What else might my days and years have been filled with if I hadn’t been an obsessed teenager and young adult trying so hard to be a good Christian?

I was also reminded of a conversation I had recently with someone who grew up areligious, and then intentionally educated himself about all the world religions as a young adult. He was so low-key — so… not religiously traumatized — about visiting various church worship services and appreciating the spiritual elements they provided. Without having to believe any of it. At the same time, he was encouraging his sister to raise her kid with knowledge of Christianity, simply because it is such a central element for understanding our culture. Not necessarily belief in, but awareness of.

For my kids being children of a pastor (yeah, they’re technically PKs — hopefully they’ll skip that particular trauma though!), I do very little religious education with them. My older goes to preschool at her dad’s church and gets some input there about how “Jesus loves me” and praying for their snacks. I take them to church about half the Sundays, and church is rated by the fun level of the games and toys available. And we have books at home like “What is God Like?”, begun by Rachel Held Evans and finished by Matthew Paul Turner, which is a real gem (of course!).

I grate against the biblical phrase “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he shall not depart from it.” This phrase was used to justify controlling methods of indoctrination, and I admit there’s a huge satisfaction and feeling of kicking my “training” in the face when I can unabashedly demonstrate how far I have departed.

At the same time, my hope — like any parent’s — is that my kids adopt the values and morals and even worldview that I find important. It’s a worldview exceedingly different from the one I was raised on, but I think it’s worth being honest to admit that liberal/progressive parents are also hoping to instill specific values into our kids. If my kid ended up being a MAGA-supporting religious fundamentalist… my soul would be kind of crushed.

So, with that admission of honesty: How do I want to incorporate spirituality, religion, and installation of morals and ethics into raising my kids?

Is it important at all to me that they really *get* the meaning and story of Jesus Christ Superstar? Does it matter if they can sing along with all the lyrics of random worship songs even if they hate them and haven’t heard them in years and years? (🙋‍♀️) Do I want them to be part of intergenerational communities that are ideally focused on concepts of loving each other and their neighbors? Do I want them to grow up with a sense that the Universe, which we’d probably call God for developmentally appropriate reasons, cares about and loves them?

No, no, yes, yes.

I do know I want to raise them with an understanding that there are lots of faiths in the world (Christianity among them) and that they often touch on something true. But also, we don’t have to take them literally. I want to expose them to diverse beliefs and hear what they’re thinking. “Some people believe that ___. What do you think?”

I want them to engage with their brain and critical thinking. But I also want them to bring their hearts. As a hefty intellectualizer myself, (great defense mechanism, mmhmm), I want them to have the inner freedom and safety to bring the softness of their hearts and maybe even feel that sense that they are beloved by something way, way bigger than themselves. I also want them to know that Love is part of their own being.

Is that too much to ask?

When it boils down, I want them to know they are loved, that they belong in this universe, and that our character and the way we treat and care for other people is important. But this is also an individual journey and wherever they get, it’ll be because it was their own unique path.

Ok, enough talking from me — I want to hear your thoughts. Maybe you have kids, would consider kids, are kid-adjacent, or were once a kid. Tell me how your beliefs and feelings have shifted over the years and how you might approach this question of religious or not-religious involvement with an eye towards the next generation! And hey - if you liked this post, would you mind pressing the little heart or even sharing it with a friend who would like to read it?