You spoke into so much of my experience even though mine was really (and strangely) opposite. I always longed for Easter (and Christmas) at each and every different kind of church. It never touched my heart. I always felt like I had my nose pressed up against a glass window watching everyone else have these wonderful experiences. It wasn't until my IU residency that I realized that, in fact, I was on the outside. All I had to do was turn around and realize I was weird or alone on the outside. Congrats on the little ones!!
Thank you for reading and commenting, Rick! I actually resonate a lot with your experience also (I write about it in a different place a bit - http://christinegreenwaldwrites.com/2018/03/30/good-friday-longings/ if you have time and care to check it out). Anyway, yes, absolutely! That feeling of outsiderness, of everyone else having this experience that I wanted to have. I think that's why my few "magical" experiences felt so wonderful and memorable - they were so unusual. Do you think that for you, realizing you were actually on the outside made you feel better - like you didn't have to try so hard to feel like you were ("should" be?) on the inside anymore?
Thank you! They're pretty great 🥰 - and at the same time, I'm grateful for my writing to give me a link to another part of myself. :)
Christine, this piece really touched me personally. I feel your ambivalence, your pain, your joy at having had deep spiritual experiences without reference to standard Christian doctrine. I've had similar experiences in a Catholic church when no one else was there, but mostly in nature now, where a deep forest is the sanctuary and the divine is everywhere around you. I also wrote about "Easter Deconstructed" (https://chuckpetch.medium.com/easter-deconstructed-388f5477a5a4) but, honestly, I like yours a whole lot better.
Thank you, Chuck! There's just something about spiritual experiences that capture my imagination / longing / joy in my writing. I read your piece! I like how you offered a new way to think about death and resurrection as it relates to Jesus and Easter.
You spoke into so much of my experience even though mine was really (and strangely) opposite. I always longed for Easter (and Christmas) at each and every different kind of church. It never touched my heart. I always felt like I had my nose pressed up against a glass window watching everyone else have these wonderful experiences. It wasn't until my IU residency that I realized that, in fact, I was on the outside. All I had to do was turn around and realize I was weird or alone on the outside. Congrats on the little ones!!
Thank you for reading and commenting, Rick! I actually resonate a lot with your experience also (I write about it in a different place a bit - http://christinegreenwaldwrites.com/2018/03/30/good-friday-longings/ if you have time and care to check it out). Anyway, yes, absolutely! That feeling of outsiderness, of everyone else having this experience that I wanted to have. I think that's why my few "magical" experiences felt so wonderful and memorable - they were so unusual. Do you think that for you, realizing you were actually on the outside made you feel better - like you didn't have to try so hard to feel like you were ("should" be?) on the inside anymore?
Thank you! They're pretty great 🥰 - and at the same time, I'm grateful for my writing to give me a link to another part of myself. :)
Christine, this piece really touched me personally. I feel your ambivalence, your pain, your joy at having had deep spiritual experiences without reference to standard Christian doctrine. I've had similar experiences in a Catholic church when no one else was there, but mostly in nature now, where a deep forest is the sanctuary and the divine is everywhere around you. I also wrote about "Easter Deconstructed" (https://chuckpetch.medium.com/easter-deconstructed-388f5477a5a4) but, honestly, I like yours a whole lot better.
Thank you, Chuck! There's just something about spiritual experiences that capture my imagination / longing / joy in my writing. I read your piece! I like how you offered a new way to think about death and resurrection as it relates to Jesus and Easter.
Thank you for reading, Christine!