Vacation Without Kids and Why a WW2 Museum Is Still Relevant Today
Some reflections from last week
The week of Labor Day I was lucky enough to take a week-long trip to the South to visit dear friends and then spend time in New Orleans. New Orleans was courtesy of a pastoral retreat for my husband — sometimes having a spouse in pastoral ministry is challenging, but other times the perks are pretty great! We left the kids in the care of 3 grandparents and let me tell you, that is really the only way to do vacation when you have young kids. Your mileage may vary, but traveling with my kids is not exactly fun. They’re good kids, but it is often stressful and/or boring (all the things in this cool place that we can’t do!!).
So after typing up 5 pages of what I hoped was helpful instructions for the grandparents (because YES I am that neurotic parent) and worrying my little heart out about how the kids would do with them while simultaneously being ecstatic about a week off of active parenting, we pointed our car south and away we went.
Reflection 1: Friendships are the best ships
Most of my close friends live in other states, and my best friend lives all the way in Memphis. We (plus spouses) usually manage to see each other once a year, and can go a long time without communication. But it really is one of those friendships where no matter how long it’s been, we pick right back up when we see each other.
I’ve discovered many a time that when I’m feeling really low, it’s friendships that bring me back. Once I drag myself out of my funk enough to text a friend or two, even those simple exchanges bring light to my dark tunnel and I feel a sense of connection to the world again.
This particular friendship with my bestie and her wife is soul-sustaining in a way I hope everyone gets to experience. We’ve added spouses to the mix since college and the ease with which we all hang out together is something I’m profoundly grateful for.
I’ve found a small handful of friends out here, but I do get lonely in small-town Ohio sometimes: a perpetual newcomer currently buried in work and raising young kids. These kind of visits with my longstanding friends are a good reminder that I’m loved and cherished by real people, outside my family, in the flesh.
Ok… enough sappiness for now.
Reflection 2: Go without guilt, dear one
Like I mentioned, I was so stoked to leave the kids behind and enjoy a FULL NIGHT’S REST HALLELUJAH but also, I’m a worrier. How much will they keep the grandparents up at night? Will there be all the crying? Will the baby take the bottle enough? Will they think they’ve been abandoned? How much will the toddler spiral into anxiety after just having started preschool (holy moley she was SO ANXIOUS Y’ALL) and now we’re ABANDONING her???
Guess what. It was all okay. I mean, I think they purposely didn’t tell us every mishap or tear that might have been shed. But everyone did okay enough, and now we’re home and back to normal (whatever normal is). Our daughter looks forward to preschool now (say what??) and our son morphed into a total champ at the bottle and is just the happiest baby. Like I think he’s even more joyful and good-natured now than when we left.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I don’t know, but I’m feeling pretty darn refreshed and have so much more patience and goodwill towards these kids after a little break. Am I back to disrupted sleep? You better believe it. But somehow it feels more tolerable now and I have hope for the time when everyone sleeps all the way through the night.
I know not everyone has reliable childcare or someone they would trust their kids with (and I’m SO grateful for the grandparents who pitch in without complaint and give the kids such good care). But we do, and even though I felt guilty asking for such a big favor initially… man oh man, was it worth it!
While writing this post, I came across a couple fantastic interviews with the author Chelsea Conaboy of the new book, Mother Brain. One quote from Amanda Montei (of Mad Moms) that I loved which felt so relevant to our situation:
Babies are prepared to be responsive to the world around them, which might include multiple people caring for them. Rather than being a deviation from some narrow ideal, those multiple caregivers may be essential to a baby learning about culturally relevant social trust.
Our babies were cared for by multiple people who are devoted to their well-being and love them deeply. It’s okay to leave them temporarily with our extended family community. They’re learning, as Chelsea put it, about culturally relevant social trust!
Reflection 3: The lessons from the world wars remain ever-pertinent today
Okay, now for a hard left turn in topic; buckle up. We did the fun things in New Orleans: drank the drinks, walked Bourbon Street (0/5 do not recommend, talk about sensorily overwhelming!!), and did a ghost tour and a bus history tour. And we also went to the New Orleans World War II museum, which is supposedly among the top 10 museums in the world.
They weren’t lying. It was an incredible museum. We didn’t linger as long as we could have, but I tried to soak in as much as I could in the few hours we had, and hoped I might share some of my reflections with you all.
Though I wish I was a history buff, I’m far from it, so forgive me for all the things you already knew that I might share.
Today we have neo-Nazis and Biden is pointing out the MAGA folks are semi-fascist even while the MAGA-esque folks call the liberals fascist for supporting Covid safety policies and inclusive sexuality education in schools. (Or is it talking honestly about the history of race in this country that makes us fascist? I’m not sure).
And of course, fascism was a prominent feature of the World War II era. The museum had a quote by Benito Mussolini on the wall: “Democracy is beautiful in theory; in practice it is a fallacy. You in America will see that one day.” For many right-wing extremists today, they’re already there.
Hitler took advantage of the Germans’ anger and resentment about their poor economic situation as punishment after the harm their country caused from World War I. Like a certain recent president, Hitler occasionally promised his people that he would make Germany great again.
Another interesting revelation was that though we imprisoned thousands of Japanese and Japanese American citizens (especially in the Pacific region) in internment camps during this WWII era, Italian and German American citizens were given a pass. I wonder if they had become sufficiently “white” (i.e., considered to be racially white by white people) enough during the time between WWI and WWII?
And finally, there was a big exhibit about D-Day specifically. I was fascinated by the amount of planning and preparation it took to decide when and how to strike, the false flag operations that were floated toward German intelligence to try and throw them off the real plans, and the imminent reality of death for so many of the young men in combat. There was a quote from a young soldier to his family back home about how it feels to look death in the eye daily and accept it as a reality, if not for you, then for a close buddy, and how different this feels than civilian life.
Heavy stuff. The museum was profound and fascinating and eye-opening and heartbreaking all at once, and I’d go again in a heartbeat.
Thanks for joining me on my reflections about my trip — I know this post is a little different in style than my usual ones, but I wanted to take the chance to share about some of the neat nuggets from my travel. As always, would love to chat in the comments!
It’s so nice you had a great vacation! You discovered one of the world’s strangest truisms: little kids who fuss and whine at parents (they all do!) are good as gold for grandparents!!! LOL
I’m so glad you two went on such a huge adventure! I am such a planner/worrier (I call it being proactive) that having Tim by my side to remind me “they’ll be fine, Danielle” every ten minutes is actually helpful. I wonder if Kevin did the same for you?