To Religious Trauma Recovery!

The stuff that used to hurt doesn't hurt anymore

Hello! I wanted to post something quick last Friday (Good Friday, for those who are still keeping track) but the week got away from me. So, you have now officially survived another Easter season. Mine felt… okay, actually! I’m leaning into what works for me and trying to release expectations that things will (ever) feel a particular way in order for me to be fundamentally okay.

I did more Easter-y things this year than I have since I’ve had children, which I think is just a function of them getting older. Thursday I brought my kids to a Maundy Thursday service at the little liberal Mennonite church I attend where it’s okay that I don’t believe things, and the kids loved the snacks (lol Last Supper snacks) and foot washing. Friday I took them to the Columbus state house and joined a group of Episcopalians and others who walked around the capital doing Stations of the Cross with a modern political twist (I have some mixed feelings about a bunch of white liberals doing this but also appreciated the recognition that most of the crowd fell into that category). Saturday I took them to the 50501 protest happening in our town, Bellefontaine, where about 50 people showed up to demonstrate (a huge crowd for this very red town!). Sunday was morning at my spouse’s church, egg hunt… then lawn work! That’s all!

I just love making signs so much... even though my signs are too wordy and not cool 😂

The religious aspect of Easter takes on a whole new dimension when we find ourselves living in an oppressive empire that is now not only tacitly oppressing other countries, but actively oppressing its own people. There were some moments when I really wanted to hear and believe in a message of ultimate hope or redemption. To remember that things have been really bad before, and somehow we’ve made it through. And to believe that even when evil looks like it has won… maybe it hasn’t.

So, I knew it was Easter weekend and even did religious-y things, but I made it work for me and the religious-ish-but-not space I find myself in. I thought about how even though I disagree with all the messages I internalized from my religious system, I do appreciate the knowledge and framework it’s given me. Do I wish I could have gotten that a different way? Sure, but then I wouldn’t be me the way I am now.

Maybe I’d have gotten here on my own regardless of religious upbringing, but I also appreciate the part of me that really wants to consider the deeper aspects of life: what it means to live a whole, full, meaningful, purposeful life; what it means to feel spiritually alive and fulfilled; how to create deep and powerful connections with others. I hope my children get to experience this too, however we get there.

And I’ve been reminded by clients and my own experiences lately that it’s usually very, very hard to imagine things being different when we are in the middle of a painful place and it’s maybe all we’ve ever known. But that it’s also possible to turn around one day down the road and realize you’re a totally different person than you used to be, but also more YOU than you ever were before.

Sending love, light, and hope to you — I am glad you are here.